Showing posts with label Laura Dave. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Laura Dave. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Review: The Divorce Party by Laura Dave

The first and only time I'd heard about a divorce party was on an episode of CSI:Miami. Of course one of the participants is murdered and cheesy sunglass removal ensued. This translates to zero knowledge of what to expect at an actual event.

In The Divorce Party, Laura Dave tells the stories of Maggie, a former writer turned, along with her fiance, Nate, future restaurant owner, and of Gwyn, Nate's mother, who is preparing to celebrate the end of her thirty-five year marriage to Thomas.

Maggie is the proverbial rolling stone, having stayed in eight cities over eight years. She must look at her life and her history to find out if she can finally settle down with Nate.

Gwyn is the woman that has been taken for granted. Everyone thinks that, in her, what you see is really what you get. But she has a few things up her sleeve.

Maggie sets out to meet Nate's parents for the first time, on the night of their Divorce Party (what a strange night to be introduced to you future in-laws, no?) and instead finds out truths about Nate and about herself that could jeopardize their future together.

As the two woman take a good hard look at themselves and at the others in their lives, Dave gives, through them, voice to the question most people in relationships have - whether we can ever truly know someone, regardless of how much time you've been spent together, or if knowing everything about someone really matters in the end.

The book was an easy read, quick yet still thought provoking. At times the writing was a bit repetitive, but this was the method the author choose to get her points across. Overall, fairly enjoyable.


Click here for an excerpt.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Article from author Laura Dave

I have a review that will be posting for The Divorce Party early next week and had already posted an excerpt from the book here, but I received this article from the publisher and thought I would share it. I think it's nice to get an inside look into the author, to see where their research takes them.


5 Reasons to Celebrate a Break-Up

By Laura Dave

Author of The Divorce Party: A Novel


This weekend, I am going to my favorite place on earth: Big Sur, California (pop: 1,049) -- a beautiful town on the Monterey Peninsula. In anticipation, I pulled out my books by Henry Miller, a writer closely associated with the area. As I flipped through the pages, I came across a saying from Miller's lover, the author Anais Nin, that I had handwritten into the margin. Nin wrote: Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.

Running my fingers over these words, I started thinking of my most recent novel, The Divorce Party, in which two women find themselves fighting not to let love die. And I recalled all of the people I spoke with over the course of working on The Divorce Party who found themselves fighting that same fight -- and sometimes deciding it was better to let it go. These are five reasons that they shared with me, and to which I return when someone close to me is struggling with a break-up.

1. Some Relationships Are Meant To Be Seasonal

Ty, a man I spoke with in Cleveland, was devastated when his first relationship after his divorce ended badly. He wanted to marry his new partner. But after closer inspection of their relationship -- she was only recently separated herself, they had conflicting ideas about marriage and family, they had different values -- he acknowledged that what he liked best about their relationship was that it provided distraction and comfort during a mutually difficult time. "We have passion, but, when I'm honest with myself, I don't know what we have in common on the other side of all of our drama," Ty said.

In Ty's candor, he has hit on something that is important to remember: some relationships are meant to be seasonal. They get us through a tricky period, they make us feel alive again. But that doesn't necessarily translate into two people being compatible for longer commitment. A psychologist, who I spoke with after Ty, said it eloquently: "Feeling love or passion is not enough to sustain a long-term relationship. Liking your partner is just as important. Ask yourself: do you enjoy spending time together? If you do, find a way through the inevitable problems. If you don't, ask yourself if your relationship has served its purpose."

2. The Wrong Person Can Make Us Feel Wrong

A couple in New Mexico, Cassie and Jason, met and married in three months. It was a whirlwind. Sadly, after the dust settled, Cassie realized that her husband liked the whirlwind more than being married. "As much as I bend myself into a pretzel to make him happy," Cassie said. "He criticizes me and makes me feel like I'm failing him."

It is human to feel that it's your fault when a relationship goes awry, especially if you have a partner who is more interested in finger-pointing than getting to the crux of what is ailing the two of you. But there is a difference between working hard on a relationship and working too hard. If someone is constantly meeting your efforts with endless negativity, it may be time to consider changing the conversation.

3. The Rope Gets Awfully Heavy . . .

When I spoke with a book club in New Jersey last year, we ended up discussing what makes relationships work. We came to an image of two people on either side of a long rope, holding their ends up. The key is that both people don't drop the rope at the same time -- that if the rope stays raised, even on one side, the relationship stays safe. I like this image because it suggests the mutual caretaking inherent to a good relationship. Which led to one of the book club members confessing the flipside: "My first marriage was over when I realized I was the only one holding up that rope. I never got a chance to rest, to reboot. It became too much."

No one can be the only one to hold the rope, not all of the time. We all -- at the end of the day -- need someone to help. If we find ourselves moving on from someone who wasn't, that -- in the end of a new day -- can be a big relief.

4. The Universe Sometimes Has More Interesting Plans For Us Than We Have For Ourselves

A woman I spoke with in Oregon took me on a tour of her home. It was her dream home, and she proudly explained that she wakes up there with the feeling that she's exactly where she's supposed to be. But she only found this peacefulness on the other side of a devastating heartbreak. "I fought like cats and dogs to stay with someone who was wrong for me," she said. "Thankfully, I lost that fight and ended up in the right life."

This reminds me of something crucial: we're not always wise witnesses to our own lives. Sometimes, in spite of tightly clinging to an idea of how we want our life to be, the universe has a plan for us that is braver and better than the one we had for ourselves. The good news is, when we stay open to it, the universe often finds a way to deliver us there.

5. You Get To Bring You Wherever You Go Next

I was surprised when a male book club member in California announced proudly that Sleepless In Seattle was his favorite movie. He loved the sentiment expressed by the radio host who brings the Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan characters together. She said: people who truly loved once are far more likely to love again.

I stand by this sentiment, and believe in its truth. The kindness and goodness and joy -- the ability to love -- that you give to a partner lives inside you. If the person sitting across the table from you can't accept those gifts, be excited. As hard as it may feel, be excited to give the best pieces of yourself to someone who is able to accept them. As the man in California wisely said: "happy endings don't always come in the form that we hope for. But, for those of us who believe in them, and work for them, they do come."

©2009 Laura Dave, author of The Divorce Party: A Novel

Author Bio

Laura Dave is the author of the acclaimed novels The Divorce Party and London Is the Best City in America. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, Glamour, Self, Redbook, ESPN the Magazine, and The New York Observer. Dave graduated from the University of Pennsylvania. In August, Cosmopolitan magazine named her as one of the eight "Fun and Fearless Phenoms" of 2008. She lives in California. For more information, please visit http://lauradave.com/

Friday, August 14, 2009

Book Excerpt - The Divorce Party

Here is an excerpt from The Divorce Party by Laura Dave. I have a copy on its way to me and will post my review once I've read it. So far, the premise sounds pretty good. What do you think?

Montauk, New York, 1938
by Laura Dave,
Author of The Divorce Party: A Novel

It is bizarre, of course, that this was the summer that everyone was trying to fly somewhere. Howard Hughes around the world in ninety-one hours, the luxurious Yankee Clipper boat off the water and into the air, Douglas "Wrong Way" Corrigan from New York to Los Angeles -- he wound up in Ireland. It was also the summer after Superman first appeared in Action Comics and instant coffee got popular, and the last full summer before the worst war. But they'd talk about the flights first. They'd say, how odd, for everyone to have spent so much time staring up at the sky, and to still not see it coming: a hurricane so punishing that it would destroy America's eastern seaboard, biting off the farthest tip of eastern Long Island, biting off a town called Montauk, and leaving it detached from the world, an island, alone, in the middle of the ocean.

It was September, only the last vestiges of summer remaining, when the hurricane hit. No one on Long Island knew that a storm was coming that afternoon. That the army would have to come in to resurrect the land that had once connected Montauk to the rest of Long Island. That it would take two weeks before the waters receded low enough at Napeague to let through emergency traffic. That Montauk residents would lose almost everything.

In the end, there were only a few exceptions. Near Montauk Point, there were seven houses tucked so tightly to the bluffs that the wind and the rain and the water couldn't pull them down. Seven sister houses built by the same architecture firm in 1879, lived in each summer since by the same seven Manhattan families. Their steely gates and strong foundations completely intact.

Their fireplaces and oak doors and stained-glass windows marking them, homes like trophies, on top of the end of the world.

The one at the farthest eastern tip was called Huntington Hall -- Hunt Hall by anyone who'd actually visited. It was the only house of the seven still occupied that late in September. And occupying it was Champ Nathaniel Huntington. Champ was thirty-three years old, and far too handsome, and a little too tall, and the only son of Bradley Huntington, the most successful publishing mogul in North America. When the hurricane hit, Champ Huntington was having sex.

Lights on. Curtains drawn. Angry, late-afternoon sex. Anna was bent over the side of the bed, Champ behind her, his hand cupping her throat.

They had been out here all summer having sex like this. They were trying to save their marriage. And they were trying to destroy it.

Outside was all water and raging dark and storm. But in his faded consciousness, Champ didn't notice. He knew it was raining. He heard it striking against the roof. He heard the wind. But this was Montauk. It was September. These sounds didn't indicate that something brutal was happening.

Other things were brutal. This first year of marriage. It was wrong. Anna's dark hair in the sink. The meetings he didn't really have. He bent down farther, took her ear in his mouth.

"Don't," she said. She was focused, close. "Stop."

When they were done, they lay, splayed, Anna on the bed, Champ on the floor beneath her. Her foot was on his shoulder. This was the only place they were touching. He almost reached out, held her toes. But he knew it just made her mad when he did anything tender. It made her think he'd change, or want to try for her.

Then and only then did Champ sit up and look outside. And maybe it was that his head was still closed off, but what he saw out there looked like a train crashing into the window. It was the visual that made him hear the noise. The terrible whistling, high pitched and out of control. Hearing it, he'd later say, was the moment his life changed.

He headed to the bedroom window, naked, and had to reach out, grip the long edge of the window frame to hold himself up. He couldn't see the beach, or the ocean. He couldn't see anything at first.

Anna came up behind him, wrapped in the bedsheet, and they stood there watching the train-wind through the window. They watched so hard that they didn't talk. Not about the speed of the wind or the trees breaking apart or what must have been happening in the town center. If they had been thinking, they might have moved away from the window. They might have been scared that it would splinter. But they stood there until the storm stopped, and started, and stopped for good. And the greenish yellow sky turned purple and then black and the sun (or was it the moon?) rose up, terrifying. It was the sun. They had watched through the night.

"What time is it?" she asked.

He didn't answer her.

"What do we do now?" she said.

Champ was already in motion. He was putting on clothes and lacing up his work boots and walking out the front door. He made his way, by foot, across his land, down the slippery bluffs and tree-wrecked cliffs onto the flooded Napeague stretch and down farther to Main Street. Three and a half miles. Into the center of the ruined village.

There were fishing boats and cars piled on small houses. Fallen phone lines pulling down torn roofs. Poles and flooded cabinets and bed frames lining the street. Water was flowing from everywhere, making it hard to even walk down the streets -- where did it start? If they figured out where it started maybe they could stop it!

Champ pulled up his pant legs and made his way to the Manor, where people were setting up shelter, where they were trying to provide relief for themselves. And Champ set to work with the other men moving cars and carrying wet wood and boarding windows and drying blankets and cleaning up slabs of broken glass.

How could he explain it even to himself? He didn't recognize the feeling, had never known it before. But something broke free in Champ -- something like devotion or commitment -- to his home, to his suffering town, to everything around him. Maybe this is why, when he finished working, he didn't head home, but down to the docks, where he sat on canisters with all the fishermen, who now had nothing, and listened to them talk about how they had nothing, and stared at his own cut hands, and watched the moon rise, white and fierce, remarkably sure of itself.

Then he followed the star-line north and east, trying to locate it. First Montauk Point, then the cliff and the bluffs, then the house itself. His house. Huntington Hall. Standing tall, oblivious.
It was hard to find his way back there in the dark. So he followed the defeated shoreline, and eventually made his way up the wooden staircase, into the bluffs, toward his home, where everything was still mostly together. Where Anna was waiting with lit candles and tomato sandwiches, dark blankets spread out on the living room floor.

When he walked in, she was by the front door. She was wearing a long, purple sweater. She had her hair in a bun. She reached for him, and he buried into her neck, smelled her.

"How was town?" she asked, her hand still on his chest. "I tried to pick up news on the radio, but there was no reception. Is there a town left?"

He didn't answer her, but he was looking at her strangely. And he knew that she knew he was looking at her strangely. It was as simple as this: he could see her. For the first time in a year, there was nowhere else he was trying to be.
Which brought him to his own questions: Why did it take fear to move him? Why does it take chaos to make us understand exactly what we need to do?
He wanted to ask her his questions, but he wasn't sure she would have good answers, and then he would change his mind, and he didn't want to change his mind. He wanted to stay this sure.
Later, only thirty hours since he had last been lying there, they were lying on the floor together, facing each other. And in that strange way that we make decisions, the important decisions that ultimately make us, Champ decided that they were going to stay in Montauk full time. No more New York City.
This had become their home.

He turned and looked outside at the slowly recovering world. At the backlit colors in the sky, on his lawn. And he knew the truth. The main truth, at least. This house had saved them. This big, beautiful cottage, which stayed big and beautiful despite the destruction all around. Its stern banisters and wood ceilings and determined rafters. The house had saved him, and he wasn't
going to forget it.

He was going to build his life here, right here, in the name of love and honor and what ever else he was feeling, even if he couldn't name it for what it was: exhaustion.

He was, finally, exhausted.

He looked Anna right in the eye. "Things are going to be different," he said.

She nodded.

"I'm staying," he said, because they'd talked about the opposite, earlier, before -- his leaving her, and here.

"Why?" she said.

"I want to," he said.

She got quiet. "You're going to disappoint me," she said.

"Probably." He was trying to make a joke, but it didn't come out that way. He tried again. "I think it's going to turn out okay," he said.

"Starting when?" she asked. "Ending when?"

Then, as if it were an answer, he pulled her in close to him, without reluctance, without anything like fear. "This house," he said, "will see love. This house will see everything."
Copyright © Laura Dave, 2008 All rights reserved

Author Bio
Laura Dave is the author of the acclaimed novels The Divorce Party and London Is the Best City in America. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, Glamour, Self, Redbook, ESPN the Magazine, and The New York Observer. Dave graduated from the University of Pennsylvania. In August, Cosmopolitan magazine named her as one of the eight "Fun and Fearless Phenoms" of 2008. She lives in California.
For more information, please visit lauradave.com
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